Mirror Mirror On The Wall
You know what doesn’t feel good? Rejection. Ew it’s a dirty word, and not the kind you want to roll around in the sheets with, or find yourself submerged in mud at a spa with. It feels like who you are as a person isn’t good enough and it hits on the ole heart strings. Then like the mousetrap game from 1990, it sets off a chain reaction of events that somehow leave you “accidentally” eating a whole box of Trader Joe’s Ube flavored mochi, after you just finished saying you were going to start a detox. Classic.
I’ve been here before. The funny thing is, this go around it’s not the outside world that is rejecting me, it’s me. Remember in 2017 when your girl (me) was applying to over 45 different teaching positions and was either professionally ghosted or met with the “We are moving in a different direction” email? Yea… I remember that too. And it feels like it’s happening again, only this time it’s my own business and my heart and soul are on the line.
Two days ago I decided I wanted to take my gifts and expand them into the world through a group coaching program. I was JAZZED and I sat down to meditate on all of those oooeeey gooeeey tough cookies I wanted to bake this idea with. The ones that got it, that got my frequency and were ready to mix this up in their own life, and with that I sent out a personalized email. It took me an hour to draft this email because I didn’t want to use AI, I wanted to use my own voice coming from my own heart. Like a proud momma, I sent out my email into the ether and excitedly waited for the inpouring of excitement of those eager to get in the program. After all, they were a handpicked group (I don’t have a mailing list) and who wouldn’t want to be personally invited into this program? Five minutes… any response yet? *Checked inbox- nothing. Three hours later… nope. Refresh inbox, (clearly that was the problem).
WTF?! Nothing?
Two days after the intital email I saw a reply - this is it! Nope it wasn’t it. It was a, “Hey this sounds awesome, but I’m busy and can’t make it.” And then another “neh thanks” rolled in.
I felt like I had just given birth to my baby and instead of the welcome reception where people are bringing balloons and telling you what a champ you are for pushing out 9lbs from your lady parts, I felt like a chump- no one showed up.
Now, here’s how I know that coaching works: I have the awareness of what is going on, and then I get to decide if that’s what I want. Do I want to make myself feel worse by creating a whole narrative in my head about how I’m not good enough, or do I want to use this as a chance to recognize the disappointment?
It’s uncomfortable to sit in the disappointment. It’s meant to be because it reveals to you the parts of yourself that are being rejected. The times when I feel rejected from the external world are always a reflection of my inner-world where I am rejecting myself.
I’m the one that is assigning a story about what it meant when I didn’t get responses to my invitation. So, if I’m the one who gets to write the story, I want to write one that makes me feel good!
Coaching has given me the tools of awareness, it has given me the space between my thoughts to find clarity, and it has given me back my power. I get to choose how I show up. I can’t control whether or not anyone signs up for my program, but I CAN stop making myself feel poopy.
And that’s sorta the point isn’t it…? Not making ourselves feel like sh*t and start making ourselves feel like the magical unicorns we ACTUALLY ARE!
Here’s how I want to move next. I want to send a follow up email, then a text, a carrier pigeon, and then casually show up at each and everyone’s house with a “Hey friend, I was just in the neighborhood and wanted to pop in to see how you are…” because it turns out according to the experts you need to have 6 mentions before the information lands in the audiences’ awareness.
We’ve learned a valuable lesson here today. I will be a business stalker if you don’t sign up for my program, but, also that I’m super hard on myself. On the latter, I know I’m not alone, which means, Friend who is reading this, be kinder to yourself. You’re doing the best you can and the game isn’t over- it’s just starting.